4. Blog Assignment
#4: Due Thursday, May 24, 2012 by Midnight
Log onto EBSCO Host to research the topics of Grief and
Mourning. Using at least two scholarly articles. Summarize and reflect on your
findings.
Your summary should include the answers to the following
questions:
-How do people deal with trauma and
loss?
-Are there different stages of
grief? What are they?
Your reflection should also connect to a character in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
Include your sources in MLA format.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAmazing Details!
DeletePeople have or will suffer deep grief over the death of someone they love; however, choosing to deal with the trauma and loss will be different for most. In extreme cases people who agonize over the loss of a loved one end up questioning their own existence or their sanity. These disturbing thoughts and emotions hopefully become less consuming and intense with the course of time, but if not then can be considered to be pathological. In other cases people respond by spending time with family, surrounding themselves by loved ones then undertaking “grief projects” either in the creation of artwork and in the raising of memorial objects. Similar to Oskar In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, he uses his findings of the key to help him face the realities of his father’s death.
ReplyDeleteDifferent stages of grief still serve as a guide to modern-day attitudes about loss. However some researches have discovered in particular that the 5 “stages of grief denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance faced scientific complications. Coming from good intentions, unfortunately these are outdated. It creates a challenge for the belief of what grief should be, while in reality there is no “right” way to grieve.
Works Cited
Hughes, Virginia. " EBSCOhost: Shades of Grief ." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012.
Sponagle, Michèle. " EBSCOhost: good GRIEF ." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012.
Nice Work!
DeleteNick Romano Blog #4
ReplyDeletePeople deal with loss and trauma in many different ways. Denial, Regret, Sadness, Hatred towards the people who caused your love ones death and even forgiveness. Nicholas Lanza lost his mother in the terrorist attack on the world trade center. Immediately he felt denial that it ever happend, he rejected the truth. He felt that it is his fault what happen, he felt regret. His inner demons would not stop attacking him; it was on his mind 24/7. He let all his feelings go, he starting telling people who he is and what he experienced. He originally had hatred towards Osama Bin Laden and the terrorists behind the attacks, but after he went to church camp and he let everything go, he had a new desire and came to forgive Bin Laden for what he did. In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Oskar’s mother deals with the loss by having regret towards what she did and did not do. She also deals with it by dating Ron, similar to Nicholas Lanza’s dad getting remarried. Replacement is another way to deal with loss. The loss of someone could effect someone’s way of life so much they might need a person to fill that role to help them cope with the loss.
Grief is a complex process within someone internally. Grief needs time to be healed, The human body needs time to accept Grief, Grief can sometimes be denial and the person with the grief will need time to accept it. September 11th 2001 was a mass tragedy, which means the losses of all these people can bring back previous losses one had. The poem “Each Small Step” helped define grief by personal experiences. In “this time I tell” The author goes over the steps of grief he dealt with when he lost his Grandpa. “Why Have you come back, To haunt me again” The 1st step is the memories that come back and flood through someone’s brain and they can’t stop thinking about it. The next part of the poem talks about denial, how he is wondering why his grandpa came back? Then he talks about how he must face his demons and “rebuild” the wall and how he must go face to face with them and conquer his feelings. Then he goes through Confusion, he doesn’t understand what happen and he is confused why. Then Fear and Pain, he faces fear of losing other people and pain for losing his Grandpa. Eventually grief is over “But this time I tell, and the magic spell is broken, your power is gone, I shake your off and walk away”. The “magic spell” that the grief put on him is over, the power is gone and he “shakes it off”.
The poem “this time I tell” can relate to Oskar and the grief he goes through and how at the end of the grief he finds his own way to let his mind forget about his dads death, his way is to find the key to keep the memory of his dad alive and end the grief he felt.
This Time I Tell
Grandpa why?
Why have you come back
To haunt me again
I thought I had left you
And the broken wall far behind
But now
Out of the blackness
Of night past
You come again
I desperately try
To rebuild the wall
But caring hands
prevent me
I must turn and face you
Live it through again
Feel it again
Confusion
Fear
Pain
But this time I tell
And the magic spell
Is broken
Your power gone
I shake you off
And walk away.
1991 Poem from Marilyn Mackinnon
Poem Written in an article at EBSCOhost.
Work Cited:
Austin-Smith, Brenda. "EACH SMALL STEP ." EBSCOhost.com. EBSCO Industries, n.d.
Web. 24 May 2012. .
Lanza, Nicholas. "FINDING NICHOLAS ." EBSCOhost.com. EBSCO Industries, n.d. Web.
24 May 2012. .
Woodward, Kenneth L, and Karen Springen. "THE STAGES OF GRIEF ."
EBSCOhost.com. EBSCO Industries,, n.d. Web. 24 May 2012.
.
Excellent!
DeletePeople deal with trauma and loss in a variety of ways. The method one uses to deal with trauma and loss varies depending on who that person is. Many people reach out to others for help with dealing with their sorrow while others keep it bottled inside. When people lose somebody or something important to them, they often look for something else to fill that void. The mourning of a lost person is often turned into a celebration of their life, rather than a time of melancholy. Thinking of sorrowful events such as funerals in this manner allows people to look at the positives that occurred before the loss rather than the negatives that occurred because of that person’s death. Many times people try to hide their sorrow from the public but often are unable to and break down. Also, they could isolate themselves from society for a while, giving them time to think and try to get over the loss on their own. A helpful method of dealing with trauma and loss is to find things that distract you by making you happy or causing you to have fun.
ReplyDeleteThey are many different stages of grief that can vary depending on the particular situation. However, there is some common ground for those who suffer from trauma and loss. Generally, the first stage of grief is shock. People learn the devastating news and aren’t sure how to react, they need time to let it soak in. Next, people begin to mourn what it is they lost. Thirdly, people find a way to begin to overcome their sorrow and grief. Usually this is a person but it can also be an activity or simply an object. This connects to Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close because in this novel, the protagonist, Oskar, and his family have to deal with tremendous grief because of the death of their father in the September 11th attacks. His mother goes through these steps of grief. After the passing of her husband and Oskar’s father, she is obviously really shocked and upset. She takes the loss very heavily at first and obviously initially wasn’t talking to other men. But when she begins to, it angers Oskar because it makes him feel like she has completely forgotten about her husband. However I do not believe that is the case, I believe she has just went through the stages of grief and has finally found somebody that can help her cope with the loss of her husband.
Barthes, Roland. "Mourning Diary." Salem Press, June 2011. Web. 24 May 2012. .
West, Patrick. "Unbearable Lightness of Bodies." Literar. New Statesmen Ltd., 25 Apr. 2001. Web. 24 May 2012. .
People with grief and trauma had gone through terrifying acts or experiences. Powerful and unthinkable effects come around the people who go through loss. When the person experiences loss and rage, the victim will try to get away from things which make it remind of the act that made it grief. The person feels very disturbed and it starts to underestimate itself and gets upset after it gets ignored like in the book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, even Oskar experiences disappointment after when he doesn’t get the response from the people that he needs about the key. the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This "staged" approach, Konigsberg argues convincingly, is unscientific, tends to assume more prolonged mourning, and "completely omits positive emotions that are also integral to the experience of grief."
ReplyDeleteMourning in general and vicarious grief in particular, of the sort occasioned by public disaster, it argues, provide a capaciousness of meaning in which multiple losses may co-exist. Whether symbolic or real, individual or collective, loss of various kinds is routinely, if obliquely and enigmatically, inserted one within the other, the event of death providing an opportunity for loss which has not been properly acknowledged or grieved to come into the open.
Families and friends are suddenly forced to face the loss of a loved one instantaneously and without warning. This type of loss can generate intense grief responses such as shock, anger, guilt, sudden depression, despair and hopelessness. Along with the primary loss of the person, families and loved ones may experience concurrent crises and multiple secondary losses: lost income, loss of home, loss of social status. The role the loved one held in the family is gone. It takes time for the family to reorganize. Family may be left feeling in a state of perpetual disarray with a lingering sense of unease and disorganization. Marital and other family relationships can become strained. Additional problems arise if the grieving survivor was involved with the disaster or was physically injured. Memories of the accident or the disaster may dominate the person's mind. They may be taken up with feelings of numbness, unreality and fear. The bereaved person may suffer from "survivor guilt," wondering why they survived when others have died and believing that they could have or should have done more to prevent the tragedy.
Veteran journalist Konigsberg of Elisabeth Ross's seminal theory tells the different stages of trauma or grief. The five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This "staged" approach, Konigsberg argues convincingly, is unscientific, tends to assume longer and is extended mourning, and "completely omits positive emotions that are also integral to the experience of grief." Konigsberg also looks at various scientific studies on how people cope with grief, noting, On average, those who got help experienced no less distress nor recovered more quickly than those who didn't.
Citations:
Winders, James A. Ebsco Host. 11/15/2010, Vol. 257 Issue 45, p52-52, 1/4p "The Truth About Grief: The Myth of Its Five Stages and the New Science of Loss," by Ruth Davis Konigsberg.web. may 24th 2012
Burton-Christie, Douglas. Ebsco Host; 2011, Vol. 15 Issue 1, p29-46, 18p.web. May 24, 2012
Smith, Ted A. Ebsco host mourning diary Nov2011, Vol. 12 Issue 5, p792-800, 9p. Web. May 24, 2012
People deal with the loss of the loved one in various ways. Of course, these ways depend on the individual, and no two people mourn the same way. Many individuals tend to stay away from things that remind them of the one that they lost, or experience that remind them of that person. Great amounts of people dealing with loss seek help to find a way to cope with losing someone or something. On the contrary, there are individuals who keep their emotions inside, and do not talk about it. In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Oskar copes in a few different ways. He uses the key as a distraction and as a way to get closer to his father, and he also bruises himself to ease the pain that he feels inside. His mother reaches out to someone such as Ron as a way to distract herself from the loss of her husband. Oskar’s grandfather has lost so much he is selectively mute, which can be another way to mourn the loss of someone or something you once loved.
ReplyDeleteThere is a theory that grief comes in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. However, these stages “completely omits positive emotions that are also integral to the experience of grief”. This means that theses stages do not leave room for any positive feelings that can be a helpful mechanism to cope with loss. Also, many individuals mourn differently, and more importantly at different rates. The stages can either prolong or shorten a grieving period, and leave the victim feeing more sorrow than before. Many believe that time does heal, and other do not believe this. Although there is a theory of the stages of grief, there is no correct way to cope, as it is fully dependent on the individual.
Works Cited:
"The Truth About Grief: The Myth Of Its Five Stages And The New Science Of Loss." Publishers Weekly 257.45 (2010): 52.Literary Reference Center. Web. 24 May 2012.
O'Rourke, Meghan. "Good Grief." New Yorker 85.47 (2010): 66-72. Literary Reference Center. Web. 24 May 2012.
Sponagle, Michèle. "Good GRIEF." Chatelaine 85.3 (2012): 141. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 24 May 2012.
(All three sources are from EBSCO)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe article discusses ways to deal with grieving. Loyola University of Chicago psychology professor Roderick W. Pugh said that getting in touch with one's feelings is the first step in coping with grief because if a person distanced himself from that feeling, the grief displays itself in negative ways. According to Professor Pugh, grief can be easier to manage if one surrounds himself with family and friends to talk to about what (s)he feels and also has a strong religious belief. It allows the grieving persons to reach to that power within themselves. The article focuses on the efforts of mental health workers to respond to the trauma caused by the 911 terrorist attacks in the US and the transition to anger from grief. The approaches used by workers in dealing with the trauma are also discussed. Margaret Pepe, an officer of disaster mental health at the Red Cross noted that the psychological toll of 911 was enormous: 1,600 mental-health workers contacted more than 57,000 people in the first three weeks after the attack. "Grief moves through shock and denial and anger," says Pepe. "But here in New York , the sheer scope of it is slowing the process down. It is taking a lot longer to go through shock and denial than we see in other types of disasters." In fact, reports showed a dramatic rise in drug and alcohol abuse in the months following the attack. The Red Cross limited its mental-health workers to just two weeks at a disaster site. To disperse the accumulated burden of grief, the Red Cross provides counselors for the counselors. But there are also more informal consolations, such ad giving a hug or a pat on the back. It's the only way they can get through it. According to William Worden, there are 4 tasks of grief that each of us must go through when mourning the death of a loved one. These are:
ReplyDelete1 Accept the reality of the loss. This means knowing that your loved one is no longer alive and can’t be a part of your everyday life.
2 Work through the pain of grief. You will have a variety of intense feelings as you work through your grief. Some of them may not be pleasant, but allow yourself to feel them anyway.
3 Adjust to a different reality. This is the time to deal with the changes that occur as a result of the death. You might have to take on new tasks, do things differently, or give up some activities. You start to see the impact that the death had on your day to day life.
4 Move on with life. This is the time to loosen your ties to the person who died, put them safely in your memory and start to invest your time and energy into living again.
These tasks may not happen in this exact order. This is normal. Do not judge yourself badly for not "getting on with your life." Grief takes its own time. Grief may last only a few days, or it may take many months. Be kind to yourself. Grief and mourning do not always follow a checklist, as shown by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book "On Death and Dying." She introduced a theory called the 5 stages of Grief. Not every one who experiences a life changing event feels all 5 of the responses or in any particular order.
The reaction to loss is as unique as the person experiencing it.
1. Denial - "I feel fine."
2. Anger - "Why me? It's not fair!"
3. Bargaining- "I'll do anything for a few more years."
4. Depression - "I'm so sad."
5. Acceptance- "I might as well prepare for it."
Kubler-Ross also emphasized community. In the book "Extremely Loud..." Oskar's community is his grandfather and his mother, who help Oskar to find a way to accept his father's death.
Works Cited
ReplyDeleteEBSCO Host -- "Good Grief," O'Rourke, Meghan. New Yorker, 2/1/2010, Vol. 85 Issue 47, p66-72.
How to Deal With Grief and Mourning, Ebony, July 1987, Vol. 42 Issue 9, p86B-90, 4p.
Getting Past the Trauma, Seeber, Michael, Psychology Today; Jan/Feb 2002, Vol. 35 Issue 2, p54, 2/3 p.
Grief and Loss, Cooper, Phyllis G., RN, CRS – Adult Health Advisor; Feb 2012, p1
Blog 4
ReplyDeleteTrauma and the loss of loved ones is something that everyone deals with differently. Some people can overcome a devastating loss yet not deal with any trauma while for other people even some more minor events to cause them to have trauma. Trauma is shown in many ways some of the physically and some mentally. Physically a person may have nightmares, be startled easily, and suffer fatigue. Mentally a person may mood swings, suffer anxiety, and be in denial. Usually as the traumatic event gets farther away it becomes easier to handle these symptoms. They may return though in the future when a person is reminded of the traumatic event through it’s anniversary or sights and sounds that remind you of it. Children who are part in a dramatic event may see the world as being an unsafe place and when this isn’t resolved early the child may take these feeling to adulthood. This shows that Oskar is still dealing with some trauma because he definitely see’s the world as an unsafe place and he still has a lot of fears about things involved in 9/11 like Muslims, Skyscrapers, and elevators.
There are five different stages of grief that a person may experience. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are supposed to happen in order after a traumatic event occurs. The time it takes a person to heal depends on a lot of things, like if they get any professional help. It also matters what kind of professional help they get, like individual counseling and counseling in a group. Oskar’s grandfather goes through these stages of grief after the Dresden bombings, which took he is still grieving about and hasn’t accepted. He is still in denial that Anna died and he is trying to make up for it by bargaining to marry her sister but with a lot of rules to prevent them from actually loving each other.
Works Cited
EBSCO HOST
Alisic, Eva, et al. “Children’s Perspectives on Dealing With Traumatic Events.” Journal of loss & trauma. Journal of loss & trauma, Nov.-Dec. 2011. Web. 24 May 2012. .
EBSCO HOST
Konigsberg, Ruth. “The Truth about Grief: The Myth of its five stages and the New Science of Loss.” Publishers Weekly. Publishers Weekly, 25 Nov. 2010. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Robinson, Lawrence, Melinda Smith, and Jeanne Segal. “Healing Emotional and Psychological Trauma .” Helpguide.org. Helpguide.oeg, Apr. 2012. Web. 24 May 2012. .
According to Richard Willingham’s article about traumatized flood victims, he talked about how these people had dealt with their trauma and loss. The main thing that had helped these people with their trauma was to talk about what had happened. The people who had problems dealing with there grief had cone to recovery centers.
ReplyDeleteIn the article An Examination of Stage Theory of Grief among Individuals by Holland, Jason M. and Meimeyer, Robert A. they discuss the different stages of grief. They said that the different states of grieving may happen in a sequence that is consistent. They did a study which had aimed to five grief Indicators which were, focusing on disbelief, anger, yearning, depression, and acceptance. This study was on people who had been harmed by nature and violent.
In The book, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Oscar’s grandfather deals with his trauma by not speaking after being in the Dresden bombing. What I think really traumatized him, was having to kill all the animals in the zoo at such a young age. Oscar’s grandfather was in love with his grandmother’s sister who disappeared in the bombing. The grandfather was so traumatized by the loss of his grandmother’s sister that he left his son at birth because he was too scared to see him grow up and live his life. I did not see any stages of grief that Oscar’s grandfather had went through but he had definitely changed do to the bombings.
Works Cited
" EBSCOhost: An Examination of Stage Theory of Grief among Individuals Bereaved by Natur...." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
WILLINGHAM, RICHARD. " EBSCOhost: Flood victims aided by talking." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Everybody deals with Grief in their own ways. Some people do not feel grief at first. Michele Sponagle had recently received new that her mother had passed away after her 9-month battle with ovarian-cancer on New Years 2006. After hearing the new Michele did not cry at all, she also did not cry at all during her mother's funeral as well. She was Wondering where the five stages of grief were that she has heard about. The denial, the anger, the bargaining, the depression and the acceptance. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was the Swiss psychiatrist who identified the stages of grief in her 1969 bestseller On Death and Dying. There are many common symptoms of grief such as powerful pining for the deceased, great difficulty moving on, a sense that life is meaningless, and bitterness or anger about the loss. A group of scientists had noticedresearchers noticed that antidepressant medications relieved such depressive feelings as sadness and worthlessness.
ReplyDeleteGrief affects many characters in the novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Oskar is the character that has the most grief. After his father's death, Oskar becomes very emotional and tends to have a high anxiety, this is due to the grief he feels. In order to deal with his grief, Oskar decides to go out on a quest or journey to figure out what the key in the envelope was for. This allows Oskar to remain occupied.
Hughes, Virginia. "EBSCOhost: Shades of Grief ." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012.
Sponagle, Michele. "EBSCOhost: good GRIEF ." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012.
From personal experience I lost my god mother who I was very close to. The first time it really hit that she was gone forever and i felt the empty spot in my heart where she used to be. It was at christmas that same year where she would always come and give my the HESS trucks that were collectables. So the way I dealt with the truma and the loss was writing her name above my bed and every morning waking up and kissing the sign. I used to cry most morning when I was younger like in elementary school which made me feel a lot better but now I know that death is a part of life so I can deal with it better now. I know that Im just one persona and not everyone uses the same way as me. Sometimes people do not want to get over the death of a loved one or someone close to them so they isolate themselves from others and stay out of the way of people. Or the people who find something that reminds them of the loved one to fill the empty spot that they feel now that they are gone. But people still have to live their lives I'm sure the person your mourning for and skipping out on your life is the exact thing they would try to avoid doing. I remember I didn't play in soccer for a month because I was young and didn't know how to deal with the loss. But getting a distraction like playing your favorite sport wether its with your friends or on your team is a helpful way to get your mind off of the loss.
ReplyDeleteGenerally the first thing people feel is the shock and the first time you get the call or realize that the person is gone, that is the most scary step, when you lose the feeling in your body like you can't move. Second the depression and the mourning and the grief, that takes over your life. Lastly to get over the grief the getting over stage, well not get over but the stage where your learn to cope with the your feelings and begin to live your life again. The five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Well not everyone usually goes through these steps but according to most people that is how it usually goes. Well for Oskar and his mother the death of the dad is horrible no one ever wants to lose anyone in their family but for a young boy who is very venerable that is the worst thing in the world, he was like his best friend. Well first Oskar is in shock he listens to the message and doesn't want to answer the phone even though he knows the dad is calling and is panicking. After he has the grief where he is scared to do everything to go on the elevator the showers, the death of his dad practically took over his life. Lastly he finally gets back into the world and learns to cope with the death even if his strategy is to hurt himself or to just not bring up the voicemails which were most likely the last words his father spoke.
WORKS CITED
Olson, Mark. "Part 2: Grief And Mourning Associated With Sudden Or Unexpected Loss." Minnesota Fire Chief 43.1 (2006): 45. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 24 May 2012.
Smith, Melinda. "Coping with Grief and Loss." Helpguide. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012.
with one minute to spare lets go man
ReplyDeleteA character in Extremely Loud and Incredibly close would be Oskar and his mom mostly as they are the main characters of the book, who went through the devastating phychological moment in their lives, when they lost a loved one in 9/11. Oskar's mom faced a depression for a while and then she accepted that he was gone and that she missed they way he used to say 'i love you'.
ReplyDeleteOskar Felt almost everything at once, as he was injuring himself and wished that he had picked uup the phone and that his dad wouldnt have gone for the meeting on that day.As a little boy he had to go through the traumatising moment in his life that took a long time to heal. I remember i couldnt read the book at first, with all that sadness, but Oskar was a brave young fella. So this two characters are connected to how people dealt with grief and loss. People face different situation, but fr 9/11 i must say brought America together and people started caring more for one another although the muslims, some of them, still have trouble and face injustice. Some denizens wished that the loved one would come home that night but she/he never showed up and they accepted it and moved on. It was a very difficult time and many were overwhelmed but it is over and America is a great nation.
Mourning A Woman Who Shared A 9/11 Escape.. ‘EBSCO HOST’ Authors: Baker, Al
ReplyDeleteSecret, Mosi .Source: New York Times, 1/17/2011, p17, :Article. HARRIS, Josephine
SEPTEMBER 11 Terrorist Attacks, 2001
Detailed Record
A decade, and counting, of publicly mourning 9/11.Source: 09/01/2011. Article
Grief is different for everyone. Source: Illawarra Mercury, 05/20/2011 :Newspaper Source Plus. 'EBSCO HOST'